Navigation

THE 2011 SHADOW AWARDS

I know, I know: you went into this weekend looking forward to seeing the San Francisco 49ers exposed for the frauds that they were and realized instead that they were good enough to win a shootout with the New Orleans Saints. Then the Packers lost, meaning that San Francisco would get to host the NFC Championship game and have a much better shot at getting back to (gulp) the Super Bowl. (As if 49er fans aren’t insufferable enough already!) It was one depressing Divisional Playoff weekend. Never fear, however, your humble 12th Man correspondent has the cure to chase those postseason blues away: The 12th Annual Shadow Awards!

Longtime readers of the Shadow Awards know how this works but if you’re a Shadow Awards virgin, please pay attention to the preflight instructions. Any awards show or article can come up with boring, hackneyed honors like “MVP,” “Rookie of the Year,” etc. Here at the Shadow Awards, however, we give you the real story. We tell it like it is, we spare no expense, and we have a two drink minimum so get chugging. Because without further ado….

The Bekins Man of the Year Award goes to the team’s most valuable player that is also most likely to leave in the offseason to come. Since Seattle would have to be certifiably insane to let Marshawn Lynch go, this year’s award goes to none other than defensive end RED BRYANT. More often than not, the winner of this award ends up staying with Seattle, so let’s hope history repeats itself.

The Claude Raines Award is given to the most prominent Seahawk who had the least impact in 2011. JUSTIN FORSETT has had some good years in Seattle, but he is the odd man out in an increasingly crowded backfield, and his time with the Seahawks may be coming to an end.

Every year we take a moment to “honor” the worst officiating in a Seahawks game with an award named after the man who, judging by Sunday’s Packers-Giants game, continues to prove that competence is not a prerequisite to becoming an NFL referee. This year’s Bill Leavy Award goes to MIKE CAREY and his crew for their phantom block in the back call that wiped out a Leon Washington punt return TD in the Cleveland game, a call that in all likelihood cost Seattle a victory.

The Pepe’s Kegs to Go Award goes to the Seahawks player or coach whose performance was most likely to inspire binge drinking amongst the fans. The runaway winner for 2011 is TARVARIS JACKSON, who showed just enough flashes of ability all year to make his inevitable mistakes that much worse.

Some players just never know when to quit, and for them we have the Resistance is Futile Award. This year’s winner is MARSHAWN LYNCH, who ran so hard and with such power that it took three or four defenders to bring him down every single time. While Lynch was a shoo-in for this award all year long, he cemented the honor with his 15-yard touchdown run against the Eagles in which he ran through Philadelphia’s entire defense on his way to the end zone.

The Green Lantern Award goes to the most overhyped bomb of the year. Seattle signed two high profile free agents this offseason and neither of them lived up to expectations. But since Zach Miller was able to contribute as a blocker in the running game, this year’s award goes to SYDNEY RICE, who was plagued with injuries all year long and didn’t make all that much of an impact when he was healthy.

The Don’t Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) Award is often a bit of a controversial one, as it honors the Seahawk whom fans will be most happy to see leave. But it’s doubtful that very many people will miss CHARLIE WHITEHURST once his contract expires. At the start of the season, chants of “Charlie! Charlie!” would rain down from the rafters of CenturyLink Field every time Tarvaris Jackson made a mistake. Then Whitehurst got to start two games and fans learned that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.

Some players have all the luck and others just don’t have any. The Seahawks Curse Award is for players in the latter group, and taking the award for the second straight year is none other than RUSSELL OKUNG. Okung was plagued by ankle problems throughout his rookie season but was healthy in 2011 until a cheap shot from Eagles’ defensive lineman Trent Cole tore his pectoral and put him on injured reserve. Poor guy just can’t catch a break!

Yes, The Kurt Warner Award bears the name of a former division rival, but it’s hard to think of another player who came farther from obscurity to make a bigger impact for his NFL team. This year’s award was a tough one, with players like Brandon Browner and Richard Sherman making a strong case for recognition, but DOUG BALDWIN takes the honor for being the first undrafted rookie receiver to lead his team in yards and touchdowns since the merger.

The Swiss Army Knife award goes to the player or players that come in handiest in a tough situation. This year’s winners are PAUL MCQUISTAN and LEMUEL JEANPIERRE, for not only stepping in when starters like James Carpenter, John Moffitt and Russell Okung were lost to injury but for their ability to play multiple positions while doing so.

It’s not always easy going to see a game in person, what with ticket prices, inclement weather, and the fat bastard in the next row who yells in your ear and spills cheap beer on you all game long. The Golden Ticket Award goes to the player who makes every minute of the game day experience worthwhile, and the runaway winner of this year’s award is MARSHAWN LYNCH. Really, has there ever been a Seahawks player that has been so much fun to watch?

Finally, there is the 12th Man Award for the fan or fans that best exemplify the Seahawk spirit. This year’s award has been a very, very long time in coming and honors a man who has worked many years for no pay to make this the best Seahawks fan site on the Internet. Take a bow, SEAHAWK SAL!